Why don't men find fat women attractive?

Everyone has something they’re not attracted to, maybe even repulsed by. If you think it’s shallow or misogynistic for a man to have weight standards, but you wouldn’t date a man who was 5′ tall, balding, with a hairy back, a unibrow, a two-inch penis, and a 30k salary, you’re a giant hypocrite. In fact, you’re worse, because the man’s height has nothing to do with his mental state or habits. No amount of exercise is going to make hair stop growing out of his back.

The phrasing is so telling. If this question were about a woman leaving her husband because she was no longer attracted to him after he started sitting around drinking and gained 100lbs, most of the reactions from women would be something along the lines of “Yaas queen!”

If you’re only offended by physical standards that apply to you and people exactly like you (other overweight women, for example), then you’re not advocating “body positivity.” You’re advocating “*you* positivity.” That’s fine. Everyone looks out for #1 to some extent, but don’t pretend you have the moral high ground and a noble cause.

What is your young sex story?

Just to head off some potential misunderstandings or criticisms: this is not advocating needlessly cruel shaming. I’m not going to call anyone a “fatass,” just like I wouldn’t appreciate being called a “pussy” for being shy and sensitive. I don’t hate fat people; I hate hypocrisy. I don’t hate women or (all) feminists; I hate hypocrisy.

Another answer pointed out that some people have a history of eating disorders and so “can’t diet” without being triggered. I’m not sure what “can’t diet” even means. You can’t turn down a single piece of food that’s available to you or choose chicken over cake without being triggered? Regardless, that doesn’t really change anything in practical terms. I hate it for you and wish you the best of luck in your recovery, but it just sort of drives home the point that being overweight is indicative of certain mental states and behaviors.

I experience a certain amount of social phobia. I’ve always been shy and introverted, and an unpleasant childhood exacerbated these inborn traits. If a woman’s idea of a good time is going to a house party and meeting 50 new people, I’m probably not the guy for her. More broadly, many people consider shyness unmanly. C’est la vie, I guess. I personally find it a little problematic, but I can’t argue with the world. Again, if that’s an opinion you share, or you have any similar standard regarding what is or isn’t masculine, congratulations: you have *totally unfair* gender-based standards of attractiveness, just like everyone else.

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I aim to hit the gym four times a week and get 10k steps per day. I discovered at a pretty early age that this is the only thing that significantly or consistently alleviates my tendency toward depression and anxiety, which is the case for a large percentage of people who exercise regularly. I want a woman who can join me and encourage me. I like to go walking through the city and on trails. I like to travel, which requires walking through airports, fitting into airplane seats, and again, walking around and seeing the sights. These things are essential to my lifestyle and personality. If you’re winded and your feet hurt after five blocks, I doubt you’re going to enjoy the three-hour extended tour of the salt mine in Hallstatt, Austria or learning kung fu at the Shaolin Temple for a few days.